Sep 11 2013

Re-think and re-learn how to stay at home


Indian Working Women - Rethink and Relearn how to stay at home

Image courtesy KROMKRATHOG / FreeDigitalPhotos.net   

When we are on a break, we at least know that we will join back someday. However, after putting in 5, 10 or 15 years in hectic, high paying full time job and then leaving the job to stay at home raises many questions. The decision may be due to critical health issues, personal problems or even for the sake of looking after the children properly.

Whatever the reason may be, to stay at home leaving your job is not easy. And let’s face it; we are not good at it. I feel we don’t think enough on it. We hardly work on it. We do at home what we see others do when they stay at home. We let ourselves slip into the slowness and then blame that we don’t like just being at home.

Think. Our Grandma did this so well. Anyone who has seen her grandma in her fairly active days would know what I am stating. Wasn’t she just unstoppable?! Grandmas were never idle. They created work for themselves. Why can’t we be like them??

One problem- even though we appreciate our grandma, we cannot just pick and do what she did. For example we can no more relate to passionately weaving a sweater for neighbour’s nephew’s baby arriving next month!

We need to rethink and relearn how to stay at home in a way that makes sense to us. May be there are not only two categories like working and stay-at-home. I feel for today’s highly qualified women job might be optional but work is no more optional. It has become a need.

Change your lingo

The words we use have a huge impact on us. The sentence ‘I quit work’ really used to bother me. It somehow made me feel that I was being a failure at something. And it became lot easier when I changed it to ‘I have left full time work’ or ‘retired from IT’. See what works for you. ‘Change my career’ or ‘redesign the nature of my work’ are some alternatives. Come up with your phrase on your own line of thoughts. It works wonders. It feels like you are starting a new project.

Realize that to stay at home is not easy

For today’s highly qualified women job might be optional but work is no more optional. It has become a need.

The real thing is – it is not easy to stay at home. For anyone – not just you – it is very difficult to just stay at home and yet stay sane and lead a good life. It is amazing that without a proper thought one can do a bad job of even sitting at home! First few weeks are good at home. Relax and no stress. However the feeling of time wastage grows exponentially as months pass by. There is a void nothing else seems to fill. It may possibly result into resentment too.

Being aware of this fact will help to refocus. Even if you do not/cannot pursue another career, it takes thought and concious efforts to keep yourself motivated, in good company and still work on your development as a person. It does not happen by chance. One has to work towards it.

Join some class / community ASAP

Once at home the number of people we interact with on an average may decrease and in worst case might be limited to the conversation with family and the maid! If you do not want to look for any part time or freelance work yet, how about joining some class and learning some new skills? You may even join some community of interest too. It will serve two purposes. Either you will accidently find a new area of interest & build expertise or make some more like minded friends. Both help immensely to keep us sane.

Improve your health

Keep working on yourself. Improve your soft skills. Make more contacts. Read more books. Who knows how situations evolve tomorrow?

Now is the excellent time to work on your health. Suddenly exercise, meditation and eating home cooked healthy food are so much easily possible. Make your own list of 30 day challenges and take up a challenge a month. Transform your health. You will think better too.

And yes, aren’t we all on a lifetime weight loss projectJ? Do not lose heart if you do not lose weight. Research has proven that regular exercise improves all your internal health parameters like BP, Cholesterol, sugar level etc readings and many more.

Broaden your thoughts on work life

Just because you are at home right now, does not necessarily mean it is the end of your work life. Who knows how situations evolve tomorrow?

Keep working on yourself. Improve your soft skills. Make more contacts. Read more books. Allow yourself more experiences. You can login to internet and start taking lessons in your area of experience. Best learners are the ones who are self motivated. So long as you maintain your motivation levels, you will refuse to be a bored person sitting at home in the literal sense.

Give a try to Volunteering

If financial security is not an issue, do try volunteering in your area of interest. It surely helps to give exposure and build contacts often ultimately resulting into paid work opportunities. Also since it is free help, you can pull it off if you do not particularly like some aspects of the work. This is a great way of building possibilities. Be generous now. Think ahead.

 “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama


Share with us your experiences. How did stay at home go for you? And what were your own worries and concerns? Most importantly did you stumble on something motivating? Make someone else’s life easier. Share your experiences.


Leave a Reply